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Letter "B" » Bill Maher Quotes


«The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'»
«In New York now, they have Harvey Milk High School for gay students. They don't have much of a football team, but the half-time show . . .»
«In no way was I intending to say, nor have I ever thought, that the men and women who defend our nation in uniform are anything but courageous and valiant, and I offer my apologies to anyone who took it wrong.»
«And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has a pack in his back, my answer is, if someone was feeding him answers, couldn't they be able to feed him better ones than he came up with?»
«Hillary [Clinton] and Nancy [Reagan] have a lot in common -- they're both smarter than their husbands and both consulted the stars for guidance, Nancy with astrology and Hillary with Barbra Streisand.»
«A lot of people have warned President Clinton that Bosnia will turn into another Vietnam, which would be embarrassing for him because he'll have to go back to college.»
«I said I didn't respect religion . . . and anyone who believes in fairy tales to answer questions that we can't answer. . . . So I don't respect our religions either. But I do believe it is a clash of civilizations, absolutely, between the Islamic world and the Western world. [It] has been going on for 1,000 years.»
«A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book is apparently called the Manhattan Telephone Directory.»
«You are what you do. It?s about actions.»
«New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.»

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