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Letter "D" » Deborah Tannen Quotes


«The reaction to the book has been so overwhelming; it has totally blown me away. It's clear there's been a need out there.»
«We tend to look through language and not realize how much power language has.»
«I think it's that the same dynamics that go on between any close relationship go on here. It's just particularly intense between mothers and daughters.»
«Relationships are made of talk - and talk is for girls and women.»
«Each underestimates her own power and overestimates the other's.»
«It was just so obvious that everyone wanted to talk about the mother-daughter relationship. I think it's because women really are struggling, because it's a very important relationship in your life.»
«Part of the reason (motherly advice) bugs us as daughters is because our mothers are so powerful in our lives. They loom like giants. The reason mothers keep at it is because they're so powerless. They cannot get you to do what is so obvious to them you should do.»
«The repercussions are so deep because our responses are emotional. When you think you're being snubbed, what does that mean? It means your 'humanness' is not being acknowledged. When you feel you're being imposed on, your reaction of 'Give me some space' is so automatic.»
«If you come from, say, the northeastern part of the United States when you're listening you need to show you're alive. You need to talk along. That's the way you show you're interested. But in many parts of the United States if you talk along, that's rude, that's interruption. Now, we all agree interruption is rude. But we don't agree on what constitutes an interruption.»

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