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Letter "G" » Garrison Keillor Quotes


«Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children are above-average.»
«Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.»
Author: Garrison Keillor | About: Luck | Keywords: have got, luck, smart, wanted
«They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize I'm going to miss mine by just a few days»
Author: Garrison Keillor | About: Funerals | Keywords: funerals, Have a Nice Day, Nice
«The funniest line in English is ''Get it?'' When you say that, everyone chortles.»
Author: Garrison Keillor | Keywords: English, funniest
«The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose»
«Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up»
Author: Garrison Keillor | Keywords: tasteless, vodka
«Powdermilk biscuits: Heavens, they're tasty and expeditious! They're made from whole wheat, to give shy persons the strength to get up and do what needs to be done»
«A compassionate conservative is someone who electrocutes juveniles but lets them have a last 'make a wish'»
«Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.»
«It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.»

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