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Letter "G" » Garrison Keillor Quotes


«One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who don't understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.»
«Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.»
Author: Garrison Keillor | About: Life | Keywords: Good Life, thank you
«That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average»
«People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, 'Where are you from?' doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know?»
«Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth-breather there is.»
«They would not be smart enough to pour piss out of their boots, if the instructions were written on the sole»
«Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.»
«They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.»
Author: Garrison Keillor | About: Funerals | Keywords: funerals, Have a Nice Day
«It (The New York Times) reads like it was edited by two elderly sociologists, one of whom has been dead for many years»
«May his soul be forever tormented by fire - And his bones be dug up by dogs - And dragged through the streets of Minneapolis»

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