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Letter "J" » Jack Handy Quotes
«I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black Death.»
«For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?»
«Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| About:
Reading
| Keywords:
author, Good Book, talking, talking to, The Author
«Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.»
«I think a good product would be Baby Duck Hat. It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then all of the sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man those ducks really take off! Also Baby Duck Hat is good for parties. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)»
«picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it»
«It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money. - Deep Thoughts ( Saturday Night Live)»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
back and forth, forth, guess, rocking, Saturday, Saturday Night, Saturday Night Live, sitting, sit back, wanting
«Whenever I hear the sparrow chirping, watch the woodpecker chirp, catch a chirping trout, or listen to the sad howl of the chirp rat, I think: Oh boy! I'm going insane again.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
boy, catch, Catch A, chirp, howl, howled, howls, insane, rat, sparrow, Sparrows, The Howling, The Sparrow, trout, woodpecker, woodpeckers
«And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go to sleep.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
drunk, go down, go to sleep, lay down, park, public park, stagger, staggered, staggering, staggers
«What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know»
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