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Letter "J" » Jay Leno Quotes


«This Ken Starr report is now posted on the Internet. I'll bet Clinton's glad he put a computer in every classroom.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host) | Keywords: ken, posted, Starr
«It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that can sink John Kerry now is an Al Gore endorsement.»
«The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John Kerry's war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it comes down to it voters will always vote for a war hero over someone who tried to get out of the war. I'll be sure to mention that to Bob Dole when I see him.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host)
«You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host)
«Anheuser-Busch gives two free cases of beer to its employees at all of its parks, like Busch Gardens. That's a comforting thought the next time you're getting ready to get on the roller coaster!»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host)
«President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he thinks humans should be made the old-fashioned way - liquored up in a cheap hotel room.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host)
«Kerry's said all these foreign leaders said they want him to win, but Kerry hasn't even been out of the country in a year and a half, which means the only possible foreign leader he could have met with is Arnold Schwarzenegger.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host)
«John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both a lawyer and a politician.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host)
«Au contraire.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host)
«It doesn't get any cheesier than that,»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host)

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