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Letter "J" » Joan Rivers Quotes
«After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.»
«What a pathetic turn, ... Somebody ought to take that dress away from her. It's got Ronald McDonald's name on it.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.»
«Never floss with a stranger.»
«Of course we are going to have to mention Brad and Angelina and ... Tom Cruise and the ever-loving Katie and that horrible Jessica Simpson or whatever her name is.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«I don't know why they're around.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«I thought she looked sensational. She was going with her own drummer. A lot of them look like cookie-cutters now and they're all the same look, the same dress. The ones that are so wonderful are the ones that absolutely wear things that nobody else can wear.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«It's very important, and if it's the child, no matter how prepubescent or ugly it is, you always say, 'Don't you look great?' You speak to the child even if the face is a pizza.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«The last time I appeared in Las Vegas, they were wearing hoop skirts and Davy Crockett hats, ... But they say 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' And as far as fashion is concerned, that's a good thing.»
Author: Joan Rivers
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