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Letter "M" » Mark Twain Quotes
«[The undersecretary's blundering tour of the Middle East might be the latest incarnation of Innocents Abroad.] The people stared at us everywhere, and we stared at them, ... We bore down on them with America's greatness until we crushed them.»
«We have pacified some thousands of the islanders and buried them; destroyed their fields; burned their villages, and turned their widows and orphans out-of-doors; furnished heartbreak by exile to some dozens of disagreeable patriots; subjugated the remaining 10 millions by Benevolent Assimilation, which is the pious new name of the musket. And so, by these Providences of God -- and the phrase is the government's, not mine -- we are a World Power.»
«It?s not true that men forget they?re married when they see a pretty woman. Just the opposite, that?s when they?re most painfully reminded of it.»
«It's better to stay silent and look a fool, rather than speak and remove all doubt.»
«When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.»
«You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.»
«We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.»
«When I was younger, I could remember anything whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying . . . soon I [won't] remember anything but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.»
«What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, mighty scarce. Then let us cherish her; protect her; let us give her our support, our encouragement, our sympathy, ourselves -- if we get a chance.»
«There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.»
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