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Letter "S" » Stephen Colbert Quotes
«In success, you wouldn't be able to say I'm conservative or liberal. I'm part of the blame-America-last crowd.»
Author: Stephen Colbert
«Lemme just talk to you for a second about something that I think is good for America: caramel apples, ... I had one last night. Delicious. Not talking about candy apples. I think candy apples are a danger! You crack 'em, they're very sharp. You candy apple crowd need to wake up!»
Author: Stephen Colbert
«I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.»
Author: Stephen Colbert
«Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.»
Author: Stephen Colbert
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Humor
«The Colbert Report»
Author: Stephen Colbert
«as natural as a gorilla beating his chest.»
Author: Stephen Colbert
«Like O'Reilly, we'll grab the most important word out of every sentence, ... `The,' for example. Also, I'll say, `I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, `Colbert angry.'»
Author: Stephen Colbert
«I don't think he's necessarily a Republican or Democrat, ... He is part of the `Blame America Last' crowd. Mostly, he just wants to get those bastards -- whoever they are. They know who they are, and they know they're going to get gotten.»
Author: Stephen Colbert
«He's the master, ... It's admirable. I watch him with my mouth open and think, 'How does he do it?' If I could only have a scrap of that. If only I could take all filters off my mouth, it would be so great.»
Author: Stephen Colbert
«Jon always said 'The Daily Show' has no political impact, ... We're going to go ahead and pick up that gauntlet and change the world!»
Author: Stephen Colbert
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