Famous Quotes and Proverbs
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Letter "F" » Funny
«My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.»
«My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.»
«My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.»
Author: Ellen DeGeneres
(Actress, Comedian)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
Five Days, grandmother, grandmothers, miles, ninety-seven, ninety, seven, sixty, started
«My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.»
«My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.»
«My favorite review described me as the cinematic equivalent of junk mail.»
Author: Steve Buscemi
(Actor)
| About:
Acting,
Funny,
Movies,
Sense of humor
| Keywords:
cinematic, junk, junk mail, mail
«My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance»
«My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.»
«Music played at weddings always reminds me of the music played for soldiers before they go into battle»
«My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld
(Actor, Comedian)
| About:
Comedy,
Family,
Funny,
Law and lawyers,
Parents
| Keywords:
Florida, sixty
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